Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
