Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
