im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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