I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
