Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I could make wine with my vomit
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize