Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you would pick up someone in the library
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
