As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize