jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize