Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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