i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize