Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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