My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
