another moral hangover. fuck.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
