i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
