I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize