I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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