found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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