If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We left the knife in your bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
