HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
