You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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