They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
