I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
