Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
