The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
