Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
