He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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