My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
where am i from again
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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