Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
