Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
