I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Still dying that you shit outside
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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