you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
