hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
