**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
