you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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