Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
