he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
