I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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