New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
