you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I AM VODKA MAN
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
