I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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