that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
