Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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