so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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