I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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