his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
