i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
