we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
