Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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