I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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