the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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