i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
