he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
