There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Are we still banned from the library?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
