Me too!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
