We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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