He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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