what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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