I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
