Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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