tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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