He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
