You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
