is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
