She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
