I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
