We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
